Please scroll down to read... MY STORY SKILL SETS CHARACTER STRENGTHS EDUCATION & EXPERIENCE INSPIRATION QUESTIONS & AFFIRMATIONS
MY STORY
Hi. I’m Marla Saben. I am a Certified Master Life Coach with Martha Beck, and I have a Masters degree in Developmental Psychology* from Columbia University. I am an entrepreneur, a relationship expert, a trauma coach, a project manager, and a single mom of two amazing humans (23 and 18). We live in the beautiful state of Connecticut, a couple of miles from the beach.
*Developmental Psychology is the scientific study of how and why human beings change and grow over the course of their lifetime.
In 2008, I suffered a major trauma. I lost EVERYTHING in the economic recession. My house, my business, my marriage, and my social life, all went bankrupt. I had to sell my furniture to move my kids to a new home. I was at rock bottom. Getting my life back on track was a full time job. Depression and anxiety were constants. I lived my life stressed out, questioning, wondering, and worrying.
The trauma I suffered in 2008 was not my first. As a child, I was abused by my father. I learned how to cope at that time by being vigilant and well-defended. I closed myself in. I was introverted, painfully shy, socially awkward, and highly sensitive. I kept it all inside due to shame.
Holding things in and getting stuck in my head have been my go-to patterns of behavior. These are the ways I coped with my original trauma, my recent trauma, and all of the traumas that I have experienced in between and since. "I am all alone" and "I am not good enough" and "Nobody wants me" have been steady limiting beliefs throughout my lifetime.
I’ve done a lot of work on myself. Through many kinds of therapy and self-help over the course of 30 years, I started to acknowledge my resilience and my power to choose a life I actually wanted. When I found Martha Beck in 2015, I felt an immediate connection to her work. I questioned many of the decisions I had made about life, love, and work that were based on the unhealthy role modeling I had as a child. Through life coaching, I started to focus on growth by chipping away at old thoughts and beliefs that were simply not true. I learned about my own mind/body connection, and started to practice integrity and mindfulness. I practiced paying attention to what I was feeling in the present moment, rather than living the story about myself that I had made up along the way.
Focusing on my present:
I learned to trust myself, my intuition, my body, and my feelings more than my thoughts and expectations of how things "should" be
I moved away from stress by focusing on growth from the inside out
I rediscovered my priorities and intentions
I realized I have to FEEL my way through my life to get anywhere that actually has meaning
I used to have a victim mentality. This happened TO ME, that happened TO ME. Now, I realize that life is happening FOR ME. With this shift has come a sense of peace, a sense of knowing that I am where I belong, and that I am doing what I am meant to do. I feel happy and filled up and content.
Don’t get me wrong – I still struggle! What has changed is how I manage my thoughts. I use my life coaching tools on myself and get coached regularly to get clear and out of my head and back into my present moment.
Through deep self-discovery, I can now clearly see when I am falling into old patterns. I know how it feels in my body when I am doing something that isn’t right for me. My life right now is about choosing as much calm and ease that I can in each moment, and taking care of myself, and allowing my intuition to guide me forward.
With my learning and experience as my guide, I am committed to helping others find their way. As Martha Beck would say, I am a Wayfinder.
LIFE COACHING: AREAS OF EXPERTISE Personal Growth | Emotional Wellness | Relationships | Change | Trauma | Boundaries | Career Growth | Resumes
MARLA SABEN, LIFE COACH & DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGIST 2012–Present
EVOLVING WISDOM: Transformative Education 2016–2017 The Soulmate Mastermind Feminine Power The Art of Love
MARTHA BECK WAYFINDER LIFE COACH TRAINING 2015–2017 Master Life Coach Training (Certified 2017) Life Coach Training (Certified 2017)
PRUDENTIAL FINANCIAL 2009–2012 Executive Assistant to Chairman, U.S. Marketing Council to Senior Vice President, Business Development
ROBERT HALF INTERNATIONAL 2008–2009 Recruiting Manager, The Creative Group
ZOE'S BY THE LAKE RESTAURANT 2002–2008 Owner
KPMG 2001–2003 Project Director, Marketing to Chief Marketing Officer
PRICEWATERHOUSECOOPERS 1994–2001 Project Manager, Marketing & Branding to Global Leader of Technology, InfoComm, and Entertainment Consulting
Project Manager, Communications, Events & Community Service to Vice Chairman/Tri-State Area Managing Partner
Senior Associate, Communications to Lead Partner, InfoComm Consulting
BELLEVUE HOSPITAL, METHADONE CLINIC 1992–1994 Senior Child Life Specialist COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY 1991 Masters in Developmental Psychology Focus on Human Lifelong Change & Curriculum Design
NEW YORK UNIVERSITY 1989 Bachelors in Psychology, Journalism, and Philosophy
INSPIRATION
Ebb & Flow
Calm & Ease
Comfort
Wisdom Perspective
Strength & Resilience
Connection
DAILY QUESTIONS & AFFIRMATIONS
Is this bringing me calm & ease?
What thoughts are holding me back?
What do I need right now, in this moment?
Does this align with how I want to feel?
What is holding my energy captive?
Is this my work to do?
Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true?
Am I in my integrity?
How can I detach from the outcome?
What can I do to clear myself?
What is my truth in this moment?
Is this serving me?
Caretaking is required before caregiving.
I listen to my body.
I pay close attention to my feelings.
I ground myself by breathing.
I am doing the best I can, with what I have, in this moment.
All is well.
I have everything I need in this moment.
Look how far I have come.
Intention. Attention. No tension.
The universe is supporting me in every moment.
Ditch compare and despair.
I allow myself to be seen and heard.
I draw boundaries and honor them.
I have gone from mind-full to mindful.
You don’t have to go looking for love when love is where you come from.
I create miracles.
I am a master manifestor.
I am awakenened.
Meet people where they are.
I am perfect exactly as I am.
I deserve to be fully loved.
Nobody will respect me if I don’t respect myself first.
Be an observer, a witness, to your life.
It’s all just data.
Be kind to each other.
Suffering is optional.
Resilience is returning to baseline. Growth is a whole other thing.