Please scroll down to read... MY STORY SKILL SETS CHARACTER STRENGTHS EDUCATION & EXPERIENCE INSPIRATION QUESTIONS & AFFIRMATIONS
Hi. I’m Marla Saben. I am a Certified Master Life Coach with Martha Beck, and I have a Masters degree in Developmental Psychology* from Columbia University. I am an entrepreneur, a relationship expert, a trauma coach, a project manager, and a single mom of two amazing humans (21 and 16). We live in the beautiful state of Connecticut, a couple of miles from the beach.
*Developmental Psychology is the scientific study of how and why human beings change and grow over the course of their lifetime.
In 2008, I suffered a major trauma. I lost EVERYTHING in the economic recession. My house, my business, my marriage, and my social life, all went bankrupt. I had to sell my furniture to move my kids to a new home. I was at rock bottom. Getting my life back on track was a full time job. Depression and anxiety were constants. I lived my life stressed out, questioning, wondering, and worrying.
The trauma I suffered in 2008 was not my first. As a child, I was abused by my father. I learned how to cope at that time by being vigilant and well-defended. I closed myself in. I was introverted, painfully shy, socially awkward, and highly sensitive. I kept it all inside due to shame.
Holding things in and getting stuck in my head have been my go-to patterns of behavior. These are the ways I coped with my original trauma, my recent trauma, and all of the traumas that I have experienced in between and since. "I am all alone" and "I am not good enough" and "Nobody wants me" have been steady limiting beliefs throughout my lifetime.
I’ve done a lot of work on myself. Through many kinds of therapy and self-help over the course of 30 years, I started to acknowledge my resilience and my power to choose a life I actually wanted. When I found Martha Beck in 2015, I felt an immediate connection to her work. I questioned many of the decisions I had made about life, love, and work that were based on the unhealthy role modeling I had as a child. Through life coaching, I started to focus on growth by chipping away at old thoughts and beliefs that were simply not true. I learned about my own mind/body connection, and started to practice integrity and mindfulness. I practiced paying attention to what I was feeling in the present moment, rather than living the story about myself that I had made up along the way.
Focusing on my present:
I learned to trust myself, my intuition, my body, and my feelings more than my thoughts and expectations of how things "should" be
I moved away from stress by focusing on growth from the inside out
I rediscovered my priorities and intentions
I realized I have to FEEL my way through my life to get anywhere that actually has meaning
I used to have a victim mentality. This happened TO ME, that happened TO ME. Now, I realize that life is happening FOR ME. With this shift has come a sense of peace, a sense of knowing that I am where I belong, and that I am doing what I am meant to do. I feel happy and filled up and content.
Don’t get me wrong – I still struggle! What has changed is how I manage my thoughts. I use my life coaching tools on myself and get coached regularly to get clear and out of my head and back into my present moment.
Through deep self-discovery, I can now clearly see when I am falling into old patterns. I know how it feels in my body when I am doing something that isn’t right for me. My life right now is about choosing as much calm and ease that I can in each moment, and taking care of myself, and allowing my intuition to guide me forward.
With my learning and experience as my guide, I am committed to helping others find their way. As Martha Beck would say, I am a Wayfinder.
LIFE COACHING: AREAS OF EXPERTISE Personal Growth | Emotional Wellness | Relationships | Change | Trauma | Boundaries | Career Growth | Resumes